Relinquishing Control...

You would think that after all these years I would have learned the lesson of Who is in control. But, I am a slow learner. I like to talk the talk, but then my body reminds me that I am not walking the walk. Stress is a great indicator of what we actually believe. It usually exposes the fact that we aren't believing Truth and makes it very clear that we are turning our ear to the voice of lies.


One thing I have learned the last few years is transparency. Not necessarily with other people but with myself. The beginning of relinquishing is actually loosening our grip on whatever we are holding. But if we aren't willing to take a long, hard look at the thing we are grasping, it is a little difficult to let it go.


I am a realist. I usually live my life out loud. What you see is usually what is really there. I don't cover my thoughts or my opinions well all the time. It gets me in trouble sometimes. But it also has been a great tool for me as I have learned to let go and face life.


A wedding is the perfect tool for God to use to teach you lots of lessons. And in the end, as usual, it comes down to Who is in control. My sweet daughters have reminded me countless times in the last two days that I am self imposing a lot of my stress. And they are right. If I truly believe what I say I do then why do I allow myself to spin into a panic or to have fear gripping feelings? I have had to stop and regroup almost on an hourly basis the last few days.


But the Grace of God is not only sufficient; it is sweet. Every time I panic there has been a calming voice or reassuring text that has come my way. Every time I have lost focus there has been a very evident reminder to pull me back to reality. Every time I have hunched over in defeat there has been the gentle Hand that lifted my chin to look full into His face.


As I look back over my life, I see how He has gone before me. As I take a real look at my personality and  my human tendencies, I see how He has changed me. For the better. To look a little more like Him. He has humbled me and exhorted me and disciplined me into a different person. With a different perspective. With the knowledge that as I have relinquished control, He has done great things.


To Him be the Glory for the great things He has done!! Let go today sweet friends... He's got it under control.

Let us hold tightly without wavering 

to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted 

to keep his promise. Let us think of ways

 to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

 Hebrews 10:23-24 NLT

Focus and Flexibility

The alarm went off at 5:30am. I got up. Got dressed. Made the coffee. Made the school lunch. Checked the flight status and left for the airport. I was picking up some sweet friends who were flying in from South America. I met them on my first mission trip out of the country. It was Dan who taught us that when it comes to mission trips, the key word is flexibility.


As I drove toward the airport, I started to panic a bit about how this was going to work. We had emailed the night before. I was going to pick them up outside around the middle doors. They did not have a phone so we were connecting the old fashioned way. We were just going to look for each other.


I drove to the closest spot in the "middle" and parked next to the curb. It was still early so no one made me move. As I sat there though, the panic set in again. What if I have to move. What if we couldn't find each other. What if...


I had left a table full of wedding invitations at home on my dining room table. I had spent the last two days folding and stuffing and stamping and double checking names. I was tired and I was a little overwhelmed with wedding stuff. There are checklist and time frames and vendors to call. There is a graduation to attend and a few more showers. There is a college freshman needing to be moved out of her dorm. There is a high school freshman struggling with a teacher and a class. More phone calls to make and more schedules to coordinate. I have been focusing on the frenzy of my life.


I sat there with all those people scurrying around me and my thoughts of the last few days swirling around in my head. And that is when I heard it. That still small voice. The one that said, "Focus on Me and be flexible with the rest of it."


When I focus on Him, everything else becomes clear too. When I focus on Him, my schedule doesn't really  matter as much. The craziness takes on a new perspective. The stuff that seemed so important at the time becomes a little less needed. The schedule that seems so overwhelming opens up before me with time for everyone and everything.


And then I saw her. My sweet friend waiting patiently with her bags. Right there in front of me. Perfect timing. Perfect parking spot. It all worked out with no problem. And there was even time for a little focus on the One that allows me the perspective to be flexible.


I think I felt Him smile at me. I am sure He was thinking "one day sweet daughter, you will actually stay focused on Me."


Seek first the Kingdom of God.....

People who don't know God and the way he works

 fuss over these things, but you know both 

God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, 

God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about 

missing out. You'll find all your 

everyday human concerns will be met. 

Matthew 6:33 the message

Sunrise and Sovereignty

As I drove home this morning after dropping my daughter off at school, the sun was rising over the horizon. As I drove along the road that our high school is on, the sun was peeking over our local hospital and through the trees lining the road. I glanced over and thought how gorgeous the view was. It was very cold outside but the sight warmed my heart. 


The sun was beaming down on the hospital building and glistening off windows. It just outlined the trees and the sight was spectacular. As I rounded the curve and glanced over again, I saw the steel outline of a building under construction. The arm of the crane was glistening in the new sunlight. It was a totally different view than the one a few seconds earlier. The sun was still glistening but it was reflecting something unfinished. Something new but not completed yet.


As I drove the few remaining miles home, I realized that the picture was a picture of my life right now. Each morning His new mercies rise and light up my day. If I choose to see Him with my first glimpse each morning, the view is illuminated in beauty and my heart is warmed by the sight. As my day goes on the outline of the construction of my life comes into view too. It is evident to those around me. The cold steel beams of anxiety and planning and stress rising into view. But what do other people see when they glance at me?


I pray that they see the Son rising above me. Glistening against the stress. Shining among the plans. Giving evidence to the Strength that overcomes the stress. My heart finds rest in God alone. My strength and my salvation. He shines brightly against the backdrop of my day. I hope that my life can reflect His sovereignty.

My soul finds rest in God alone; 

my salvation comes from Him. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation; 

He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. 

Psalm 62:1-2

Words for the Weary...

It is Friday. Thank goodness. I am tired. I am weary. I am on overload. But I am surrounded by faithful friends and family who pick me up through a hug or a smile or a prayer or a text. Just at the right time. Just as I feel like I am going to sink, the Words come along. What an awesome God to give us that. Words with a person attached. Him loving us through His creation.


So here are some words for the weary, my friends:


Relax~Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18


Refocus~When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Ecclessiastes 7:14


Repent~Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10


Renew~Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2


Remember~When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2


Remind~"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33


Reclaim~He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:26


Rejoice~My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2


And may the Peace of my Jesus be your Peace too... love and prayers my friends!

The Goose...

There is a goose that is quite the show at our local Chili's restaurant. He has taken over an area of the parking lot and is taking his role as protective father very seriously. As I ate a wonderful Sunday lunch with some very special friends, we were positioned at a large window that gave us a perfect view of the  scene.


We watched as the goose proceeded to guard his mate who was perched at the top of a hill sitting protectively on her nest. The whole scene was intriguing. He would strut and pace through the parking lot as if to say to all those nearby that this area was off limits. He would stop and stare at his reflection in the cars around him and peck ferociously at "the other guy". As customers parked and got out of their cars, they were greeted with a loud hiss and a ruffling of the feathers. As it got quiet again, the goose would position himself in the middle of the road right in front of his sweetheart. We were mesmerized by the whole scene.


As I thought about it later, I realized that the "mom" never moved. She rarely even glanced down to see what the raucous was about. She just sat on her nest in full confidence that she was cared for and safe. Never doubting that she was protected from any unseen danger.


Shouldn't we be that way too? We have a Father that loves and protects us from unseen danger. (Psalm 91:3-4). That puts a hedge of protection around us. (Job 1:10). That goes before us and is our rear guard. (Isaiah 58:8) That protects us from our enemies. (Psalm 56:9). That fights for us. (Deuteronomy 20:4). 


We can sit confidently and be sure that He is watching over us. (Psalm 121:5). We can experience Peace that passes all understanding. (Philippians 4:7). We can can know that He is our strength and our shield. (Psalm 28:7). We can trust that He goes before us and He will not leave us. (Deuteronomy 31:8). We can simply sit still and know. (Psalm 46:10).


Be confident today in that knowledge and that Truth. Rest in the fact that you are cared for and protected and loved and forgiven. Blessings my sweet friends.

"For He will hide me in His shelter

 in the day of trouble; 

He will conceal me 

under the cover of His tent; 

He will lift me high upon a rock."

 Psalm 27:5

A Calling...

Danny and I had the privilege this weekend to meet an incredible young man. He has a heart for children with broken hearts. Literally, children born with heart defects that need surgery to survive. He is a liaison between the doctors and the government. He helps provide the operations needed to save these children's young lives. He and his wife and their two young children believe so much in this cause that they live where these children and families live. They live in the Middle East.


He was a fascinating guy. So genuine and so committed to his goal. He lives among a people who have a great need and provides them with the connections needed to meet those needs. And while he helps save lives physically, he in in relationship with these families emotionally and spiritually.


Isn't that what Jesus did? He did not bust on the scene and bash people over the head. He built relationships with them. He lounged with His disciples. He fed the masses. He taught anyone who wanted to listen. He wept over a friend. He appreciated the women in His midst. He ate with tax collectors. He loved the little children. He provided for His mother. He met people where they were. Whoever they were. He touched the leper. He changed lives because He simply loved people.


The world and politics are big and messy. Lots of stuff to think about and a lot of tough issues to wrap our heads around. Some of them seem to have no real answers. No hope of peace. No way out. But if we just love our neighbor. If we provide a need or even just give a simple hug, we might be surprised how much of a difference we can make. 


We aren't all called to pack up our families and move to a foreign land. But we are all called to love. Unconditionally. To reach out. To defend. To be a voice for the orphan and a help to the widow. It is our calling if we love Jesus. 


We might not all agree politically or even religiously, but if we say that we love Jesus then we should all agree to this:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: 

to loose the chains of injustice 

   and untie the cords of the yoke, 

to set the oppressed free 

   and break every yoke? 

Is it not to share your food with the hungry 

   and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— 

when you see the naked, to clothe them, 

   and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, 

   and your healing will quickly appear; 

then your righteousness will go before you, 

   and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; 

   you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

   “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, 

   with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry 

   and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, 

then your light will rise in the darkness, 

   and your night will become like the noonday. 

The LORD will guide you always; 

   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land 

   and will strengthen your frame. 

You will be like a well-watered garden, 

   like a spring whose waters never fail. 

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins 

   and will raise up the age-old foundations; 

you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, 

   Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

Isaiah 58:6-12

Let's live out our calling with love and integrity. In any way we can. Wherever we find ourselves. With whomever we come into contact with. In a way that says we love you because we love Jesus. With a smile or a hug or if possible with a real way to mend a broken heart.

Dressed in Grace

The last few days I have been cleaning out rooms and closets around here. Throwing away and giving away. With three girls who all wear different sizes and have different taste, we have collected a lot of clothing over the years. Some of it I have kept; waiting to see if another sister can wear it or because the picture of them in the dress is etched in my heart. I just couldn't bring myself to put some of the dresses in the bag on the front porch that would be picked up and thrown into the truck.


As I pulled out the clothes that none of my girls can or will ever wear again, I pictured their sweet faces in each and every dress. I remembered the holiday or the special occasion or the event that they wore the dress to. I smiled at the ones that they all wore and how different they each looked in the same dress.


I have a flower girl dress that each of my girls have worn in different weddings. We have pictures of each of them in the dress. They look so different. Each one of their personalities changed the look of the dress. Each one beautiful in their own way but so different from the others. I can't bring myself to give that dress away.


As I looked at the dress, I was reminded that God sees each of us as unique. Even if we wear the same circumstances or the same blessings or the same pitfalls, He sees us as beautiful in our own way. Remember today that you are loved with a Love that sees you as unique. That sees your individual personality even if you feel like you are lost in the same outfit as everyone else. So live with the knowledge that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Seen as the apple of His eye.


When we feel like we have made the same mistake or decision that so many others have, we can feel like we are wearing the same "dress" of shame or condemnation. Or when we do something good along with everyone else, we feel like no one notices because we all have the same "dress" on. But the Dressmaker sees His creation as special and unique. The dress of Grace may be made with one pattern but when we wear it ourselves, we find out that it fits us perfectly!


He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of His eye... 
Deuteronomy 32:10

God, I see Your grace is enough 

I'm covered in Your love. 

Your grace is enough for me...

~Chris Tomlin

Stay the Course...

I love it when all my girls are home and happy. When life is just a picture perfect moment. When things are actually as serene as the pictures we take. When everyone is getting along. When there are no bumps in the road or angry emotions involved or discipline decisions to make. When life is a Norman Rockwell postcard. Oh, if only.


Unfortunately, that rarely happens. Especially with three girls and all the emotions. The drama that is lurking around the corner. The boys and the friends and the sports and the commitments constantly fighting for their attention. We can all dress up and create the perfect family picture but there is always something that isn't so picture perfect. Do we recognize that as parents or do we put so much emphasis on attaining that picture that we lose focus?


I have been asking God a lot lately about what it means to truly stand in the gap for my children and for my family. To stay the course as a mom. The world tells us that we should look like our teenagers. That we should think like them to be the cool mom. That we should make sure that they like us. That we should provide a home that has all the cool games and kid spaces and teenage hangouts. But I think that God says, just provide them with Me.


Don't get me wrong; I am all about being relevant in our children's world. About understanding their environment and their language and their pressures. But I think sometimes by doing that we get caught off guard when the parent role is required. We are not their peer group. We are not their hangout buddies. I would dare to say that we are not even their best friends. We are their parents.


As I was praying about staying the course this morning, the Lord reminded me that He stays the course with me. Even when I can't see the plan or don't like the answer, He stays the course. As long as things are great with me spiritually, then I trust Him. I praise Him. But when things aren't so fun, I start to complain and whine. Isn't that what our kids do? They lash out or they yell or they cry because things aren't going their way. We don't like it when they mess up the picture. Especially if it stays messed up for a long time.


But it is our job to stay the course. Sometimes the tough decisions have to be made. Sometimes the truth must be told, in love, but told boldly. Sometimes the boundaries must be enforced. Sometimes the picture isn't so perfect for a while. It isn't fun or happy. But it is so necessary to stay the course.


Parenting is a learning experience. It is evolving and changing. But the goal stays the same. I want to parent on my knees. Standing firmly in the promises I know He has given me concerning them. Refusing to be swayed by the world or the enemy. Planted firmly in His Truth. Believing for as long as it takes. Loving well through it all. And waiting patiently for that picture perfect moment to come again.


One thing I want my girls to remember about their childhood is that their mom stayed the course. Thank goodness I have an Example to follow. Thank goodness that when I mess up or veer off, He never leaves me or forsakes me. Thank goodness that He loves me enough to continue to teach me and to exhort me and to admonish me. Thank goodness He stays the course.

You're blessed when you stay on course, 

walking steadily on the road revealed by God. 

You're blessed when you follow His directions,

 doing your best to find Him. That's right - 

you don't go off on your own; you walk straight 

along the road He set. You, God, prescribed 

the right way to live; now You expect us to live it. 

Oh, that my steps might be steady, 

keeping to the course You set. 

Psalm 119:1-6 the message

Waiting Well...

Mondays are always a little out of sorts around here. Especially after a busy weekend or a holiday. I usually use my Monday to play catch up. To clean from the weekend. To sort through and pick up. To get us back on track for another week. Our Sundays are usually packed with stuff all day so Monday is my day to regroup.

Since yesterday was our anniversary, I just assumed we would go out to eat. But as I cleaned the kitchen I realized that we had a refrigerator full of leftovers that needed to be eaten. The food would not be good in another day. So we postponed our celebration and ate leftovers. My youngest daughter looked at me and said that she could not believe we were going to not celebrate our anniversary. This morning I have been thinking about her confusion over our willingness to postpone our date.

If you have read this blog for a while, then you know that I am all about cultivating a home of celebration.  My daughter knows that and she was confused by the delay. I wonder if I have done a good job of teaching my children that waiting is not necessarily "not doing". Sometimes the right thing involves waiting for the right time. Have I taught my girls to wait for His perfect timing? We learn spiritual truths through everyday logic. But as parents, it is our job to model those truths.

I teach my kids to wait their turn. To wait in line. To wait until they are older. To wait until marriage. To wait for the right college or job or boyfriend. But do I model waiting well? Do I believe the promises that God has given me concerning my girls? Do I stand in the gap for them and refuse to move? Do I postpone my opinion or my judgement or my punishment because there are leftovers from the circumstance still being used by God? Do I teach them that what God began in them will be taken to completion?

I believe all those things. I believe God for their futures. But do I model the waiting well? Mary believed God about Jesus. I wonder if it was hard to stand in that belief during those 33 years. Noah believed God and built an ark. I wonder how he modeled that belief to his sons on those long days of floating. Abraham believed God for a son but we know that he faltered in his waiting.

I don't know the answer but I know the One who is the model. I want to be a parent that waits well. That refuses to believe what the world is saying but stands firm in the promises of God. I want to be a parent that knows what standing in the gap means and stays put. I want my girls to see me waiting for the right time. Waiting on His promises. I want them to know that mom will not move until those promises come to pass. No matter how long that takes.

He promises me that in my waiting He will renew my strength. That I will mount up with wings like an eagle. That I can keep running the race but I will not grow weary. That if I continue to walk in His ways I will not faint. He promises that in the waiting we will all be blessed.

Read Isaiah 40:31 today. Let's learn to wait well.

"Nothing is wasted when you walk close to Me. 

Even your mistakes and sins can be recycled

 into something good, through My transforming Grace." 

~ Jesus Calling.

A Forever Covenant...

Twenty four years ago the day was very much like today. It was one of the most beautiful spring days I have ever seen. The sky was a perfect blue and the sunshine literally sparkled off all the color. I remember that the dogwood blooms were spectacular that year. We used them to decorate our reception area. I woke up early that day because there was so much to do before 3:00. So much preparation. So much anticipation.


I don't remember a lot of the details of that day. They are beginning to fade away. I don't remember the things that went wrong or the things that made me anxious. I don't remember the details of how we got to the church or all that happened before the ceremony. I don't even remember all the details of the reception anymore. But I remember knowing that when I left that church, I would be Mrs. Joseph Daniel Spinks, Jr. I remember being so sure of that decision. I remember knowing with everything that I was that it was right. Safe. Blessed. Forever.


We have been talking a lot about weddings around here. About marriages. About blessings. About forever. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly. It is not a contract. It is a covenant. A covenant with God and your spouse. The two shall become one. Not because of the physical only but because of the spiritual. The cleaving. The connecting. The dying to self. Two cannot become one without a little give and take.


It is amazing to me how many people enter into marriage lightly. With more thought and preparation for the party than for the partnership. With so much money spent on the event without any thought of how to spend their money together. With more emphasis on how to get their way than thinking about how to put two families together. With more anticipation for the honeymoon than anticipating how you will keep the honeymoon from ending in the relationship. Marriage should not be entered into lightly. It should be entered into for a lifetime.


We talk to our girls a lot about marriage. About our marriage. About how we do things and how we make decisions. We talk about the intimacy of marriage. We talk about the hard parts. We talk about what to look for in a spouse. We talk a lot about the fact that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. About how we have prayed since they were born for their future spouse. For their future marriage. 


We cannot make relationship decisions for our children. Although arranged marriages are not such a foreign concept to parents of all girls. They make their own decisions and their own mistakes in the end. But we can pour a solid foundation for them. We can tell them what is best. We can show them what it looks like. We can point them in the right direction and we can pray boldly for their futures.


Even if your marriage is not on solid ground or did not make it to forever, we can set up the next generation for success. We can still share God's truths concerning marriage. We can make sure that we tell them. Out loud and often. Give them the tools. Cover them with our prayers. Love them enough to guide their decisions. And when they stand before us one day in their own covenant and hear the words that marriage is not to be entered into lightly, my prayer is that they think to themselves: "Yes, we know. Our parents made that very clear!"


By the Grace of God, the last twenty four years have been a true blessing. Thank you sweetheart for being in covenant with me. And for believing that it is forever.

Love bears all things, 

believes all things, 

hopes all things, 

endures all things. 

Love never ends. 

1 Corinthians 13:7-8

Covered...

Sometimes there are no words but His words. Sometimes the only thing we can do for a friend is storm the Throne Room with petitions. Sometimes our groanings are so deep that all we can do is let the One who intercedes for us interpret them. Sometimes we need to just be still and know...

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler^[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Holy Week

Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest. They waved the palm branches and laid down their cloaks. They cheered and chanted along the parade route. It was a celebration. A welcoming. But it was short lived.


My pastor yesterday talked about how some of the same people who cheered that Palm Sunday were among those who cried out Crucify Him by the end of the week. How quickly we lose our focus. How quickly we let the world around us dictate how we think. How we feel. How we react. How we love.


I am reading the Hunger Games this week. Trying to stay relevant in my child's world. I haven't read the whole book yet but I know that emotions of a crowd watching and cheering an event are all very similar. They want a winner. A champion. Someone to rise up and be a hero. A role model. A Savior.


Let's be aware this week and not get caught up in the frenzy of the world around us. I think we tend to want to put ourselves in the role of the one leading the chants. We know the end of the story so we tend to look to our spouse or our children or our friends or our neighbors. To point out to those around us that they need a savior. They need the sacrifice. The forgiveness. The perspective.


This week is about looking inside. Remembering what was done for me. Seeing plainly my depravity. My need. My sin. He rode into town that day for my sake. And for yours.


I don't want to lead a cheer today and then be among those that lead another by the end of the week. As I reflect this week, I want to look towards Friday. And remember why it is Good.

My prayer is simple: Your son, Jesus, suffered 

and died for me. I know only that I cannot have

 real strength unless I rely on you. I cannot feel 

protected from my many weaknesses until I turn to you 

for forgiveness and your unalterable love.

 ~A Lenten Prayer