A Heart Smile...

She came to see her sister this weekend. A total surprise. To all of us. She was in Athens for a bridal shower and she wanted to see the little one all dressed up for her Homecoming dance. So she made the loop. A little out of her way. A little off her schedule. A little balm for Mom's heart. A little smile on the sister's face.

She came in looking all married. All put together. A wife doing the big girl things of life. She talked of preparing dinners and entertaining friends. Of coming along side her husband as he reaches the next generation. The one right under them. Oh my. They have a next generation. And she reaches and loves and teaches them well. Just like she is doing for her sisters.

She went upstairs and gave hugs and advice. She curled hair and calmed nerves. She mothered in a sister way. So much less intrusive. And my heart melted. Again. Each time I watch her do this new season my heart melts.

It catches me off guard still. The married thing. The wife thing. She reminds me so much of myself at that age. Different personality but same bent. And I have to remind myself that we are in a different season. A different stage. A different relationship. I am learning and she is too.

I want so badly to be an encourager. To lift up not offer advice. To cheer her on not stifle the joy of this season. To be the one who says you are doing great not the one who says do it this way. Because they are doing great. And they are doing it their way. And it is a good way.

Such wisdom and such youth. All rolled into one season. Learning new things. Trying. Failing. And doing it again. Offering her heart and her home while working full time. With such grace and maturity. And I can't help but think... well done. You have started well. And my heart melts with gratitude.

New seasons always bring new things to learn. New feelings. New hopes. New opportunities to humble yourself as He teaches. As He guides us through the ups and downs of life. My prayer is that with this new season I have His eyes and His heart. To see. To listen. To love as I watch them learn and grow. Without me but with each other.

My heart melts from the memories of the past. The little girl all grown up. But my heart rejoices at the hope of the future. Their future. Their way. And I cannot wait to go along for the ride. The thought makes my heart smile...

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, 

but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14

The ocean of Grace...

Grace. Unmerited favor. Unearned. Free. Amazingly unfathomable. Constant and overflowing. Full of Mercy. Sufficient and enough.

Why is it so hard for people to grasp the concept of Grace? This summer the Lord began to show me that I might think that I have a decent grasp on the concept of His Grace, but I really needed to learn to extend it also. As I sat on the beach towards the end of the summer, I realized that not only was my body and mind exhausted but my spirit needed a tune up too.

There is nothing like a wedding to teach you about extending Grace. As I was helping my daughter through that year long preparation stage, I learned a lot. I knew that to make it through with the character that I felt like He called me to that I needed to have a humble lesson in extending the Grace that was given to me. I prayed and fumbled my way through the process and was standing on the other side wondering how in the world we made it that far.

I knew that I needed that vacation break for myself but that my other two daughters needed me too. They sacrificed a lot this summer. Especially mom's undivided attention. They needed me and I needed rest. As I sat on that beach one day towards the beginning of the week, I was talking to God about His Grace. I love the song, "How He loves us". Katie chose the chorus of that song to be sung as she walked down the aisle toward her new husband. As I stood up that day as the mother of the bride signaling to everyone that she was about to begin her walk toward her future, I could physically feel His Grace in that room. Everywhere. All over us all. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt at that moment what it meant when the verse said, "if Grace is an ocean, we are all sinking".

As I sat looking out on the ocean and the waves, it was like He whispered to me: "Not only is my Grace sufficient for all of your needs but it is sufficient for all of theirs too." The waves just kept coming. One after another. Never stopping. Never ceasing. Always another one. Constantly. The rest of that day I was aware of the waves. They were there in the morning while I was alone. They were there later as we played together in the ocean. They were there that evening as we walked along the beach. They were there in the dark that night as I listened to them crash so soothingly into the night silence. And they would be there the next day too.

That is when I realized that His Grace fills me up. When I am crying out to Him but also throughout my day. It fills me up when I was laughing with the daughter and her friend that just love being girls even at 15. It was there when I was talking to the other daughter about a decision she was making. Those waves caressing our time together as she defended her reasons and listened to my thoughts. The Grace was there as I shared my heart with my sweet husband about the bittersweet feelings of being the mom of the newlywed. The Grace was there and as I drowned in that ocean of it, He sent it right through me to them. As long as I allowed Him, the Grace given to me flowed through my exhaustion and my overwhelmed heart. Right into the lives of those I love so dearly. As I just loved them and just was with them, I was filled to overflowing. By the Grace of a loving God.

As simple as the concept sounds, I needed that reminder. The reminder that it is not in my own strength that I even love. I cannot be a good wife or mother without His Grace. And I cannot make a difference in those around me unless I allow Him to extend some of that Grace through me. I cannot give away something free and undeserved in my own strength. Only through His Grace can I grace. And the waves of His Grace just keep coming. Never letting me get empty. Even when I feel empty.

I found this ring when we got home. It reminds me of the waves. Of the Grace. I wear it to remember that Ocean. The one I am drowning in. That if I am drowning in free, undeserved Grace then I must offer it too. It is not easy and I fail often. But my ring reminds me. The Waves never stop. Just try again. Keep loving. Keep giving. Keep smiling. Keep going. The Waves will carry me.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. 

My power works best in weakness.” 

So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ can work through me.

 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

Another birthday...

Today is his birthday. That boy that I met when I was just 18. I remember the first time I saw him. Around campus. I noticed him long before I dated him. I knew he was there. He was always full of joy. Always nice to everyone. People knew him for his friendliness. He is still known for that.

This man's man that can be gruff and intense. He talks very loud and uses southern words that sometimes don't translate well. Yet, he smiles a smile that makes everyone around him feel comfortable. Feel important. He does that so easily. Smile.

He has been frustrated over the years living in an all girl house. Teaching the girls to drive and to do math and to hunt and to fish. He taught them to water ski and to bait a hook. To shoot a gun and to cut the grass. Some of his daughters loved learning. Some of his daughters did not. But even in the frustrating times when the voice got loud and the exasperation showed, they knew he loved them. Eventually the big strong arms always ended up around them. Holding them close. Keeping them safe. Always.

Those same arms have held me too. Through the joy of birth. Through the pain of death. Through the fear of the unknown. Through the hurts of life. He has never not been there for me. Ever. I know how blessed I am. I know how special that kind of love is. And I cherish it. When he asks me if I know how much he loves me, I can honestly say yes. There is no doubt. Ever.

Thank you for that, sweet husband. You are cherished and you are loved too. You have taught your girls what a true man looks like. How a true man loves. And that a real man loves Jesus. You have given them the picture. And you have given them wings to soar on their own. You love well.

Happy Birthday!!

A rugged mountain of a man,

    aromatic with wood and stone.

His words are kisses, his kisses words.

    Everything about him delights me, thrills me

        through and through!

song of solomon 5:16  the message

Look Up....

I have a morning routine. I get up and make the coffee and prepare the lunches for school and work. I have some sweet breakfast time with my "only child" left in my home. And then my dog and I play hurry up and wait for his morning business. The last few mornings I have been pegged in the head with falling acorns. I am convinced that the squirrel in that tree has it out for me because I am married to his arch rival. The man that is hunting him down.

The falling acorns have increased in their volume and in their velocity the last few days. And those suckers hurt. It never fails that no matter where I am standing around that tree those acorns are going to find their target on my head. This morning after being hit by two of them I proceeded to voice my annoyance out loud. I looked up at the tree and yelled something like: "Really? I can't see you but I know you are there!" I could have sworn that I heard that little squirrel laugh at me.

As Beau and I moved to another area of the yard and I continued to wait for him to perform his business, the Lord began to whisper into my heart. "You can't see me either. But you know I am there. Sometimes you blame the enemy or your circumstances for those acorns. But sometimes it is Me trying to get your attention."

We are pulled in so many directions. There are so many things we have to wait on to happen before we can go on with our plans. So many distractions. Both good and bad. We tend to get frustrated after a while by the constant pegging. And sometimes it begins to hurt. We immediately start to blame the enemy or the drama surrounding us or the person causing the pain or the hardship unraveling our life at the moment. But sometimes, if we get still long enough, we realize that He is just trying to get our attention.

He knows we can't see Him. But we can hear Him. He knows that we know He is there. But we don't look up. He knows our hearts. But He wants to hear from us. Sometimes we just need to recognize that when the pegging starts to hurt, maybe we should be still and listen. 

So today if you have already started your day being pegged by the acorns of the world, look up. Listen to see if maybe He wants you to do something else. Or go a different direction. Or notice the person He put in your path. Or stop long enough to actually hear the person that is causing you to wait. And if you dare to be really radical today... pray for the "squirrel" that might be the one throwing some of those acorns too!

But by means of their suffering,

He rescues those who suffer.

For He gets their attention through adversity.

job 36:15 NLT

Faith over fear

Life is pretty shaky sometimes. I am not even sure if that is the right word but it seems to fit that feeling. The feeling of uneasy insecurity. Of not knowing what is coming next. Not being able to see around the corner. That feeling that seems to make the unknown grow into something so much bigger than it will actually be. That feeling that if left unchecked can throw us into spiritual vertigo.

This week has been full of conversations with friends about the unknown. Either with their marriage or their children or work. That shaky thought that leads into uneasiness. That gut feeling that grows. That scenario conjured up in our minds that can turn into full fledged panic. All those emotions that usually always come out of the root of fear.

Fear can paralyze the best of us. It can make us into crazy people. It can force us into a thought process that is totally irrational. All before we even realize that we stepped over to the dark side. Probably none of you ever actually step over that line. But me? I have stepped over many times. There have been times in my life when I stepped over and took so many steps in the wrong direction that I lost sight of the line. But I am learning.

Fear is usually rooted in the unknown. Whatever that is for each of us individually. The future that can't be seen. The hope that can't be grasped because it doesn't have a name or a face. The forgiveness that we just can't feel or give because the hurt can't be forged through. Fear is a tool of the enemy. It is also a tool that we use against ourselves.

I am a planner. A controller. An emotional barrier. As long as I can keep moving, then I can keep functioning. But God offers us a throne room of Grace. And Grace is always bigger than fear. I remember studying the old testament tabernacle when I was a young mom. We studied about all of the rooms; the outer and inner courts. The last one being the Holy of Holies. Only the high priest could enter that room. And only once a year. The veil covered the entrance to the room that held God's Glory.

I also clearly remember when I read the crucifixion passages and realized that when Jesus died on the cross the veil in the temple ripped from top to bottom. A wide open invitation to enter. A straight path to the throne of Grace. That deep theological doctrine all of a sudden seemed so simple. So I began to run. Straight into that throne room. And that Grace became my reality.

But I also realized that the only way in was straight through the opening. Not around it. Or over it. Or through the back door. But directly forward. Through the circumstance. Through the pain. Through the fear. Through the unknown. Leave the shaky ground for the unshakeable. That is where fear is defeated.

So today, sweet friends, storm the throne room. He is waiting. He is faithful. And He is unshakeable. Run in and hold tight... may your Faith be larger than your fear.

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly 

draw near to the throne of grace 

(the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), 

that we may receive mercy [for our failures]

 and find grace to help in good time for 

every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, 

coming just when we need it]. 

hebrews 4:16 amplified

Monday Momentum...

It is Monday. And it is the first day of October. The last quarter of another year. The ending of another calendar. The culmination of another season. Life just keeps moving doesn't it? Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. And we sometimes get lost in the routine of it all. Caught up in the everyday stuff. The same old thing.

I am beginning my week on my back porch. Listening to the rain. Finishing my Bible Study. Reading God's Word. In the last few hours I have made lunches. Washed a load of clothes. Talked to my husband twice. Fielded a desperate text from my high school daughter. Delivered the reason for the desperate text to her. Read an article about my college age daughter that was printed in her college newspaper. Texted my proud sentiments to her. Taken the dog out twice in the rain. And had one too many cups of coffee in the process.

My week is off to a fast paced start. As usual. But in the middle of all the distractions taking away my attention, I need to stop and prepare my heart for the week. Rest and refueling are so important to our daily walk. Unless we intentionally fill our minds and our hearts with His word, we tend to attack the week in our own strength. And my own momentum tends to fall short by Tuesday.

So fill yourself up today. The definition of momentum is strength or force gained by motion or by a series of events. And the great thing about it is that God can be that strength and force if we allow Him to be. We don't have to face the week alone. We can start off in His momentum. It never waivers or doubts. It never loses strength or power. It never leaves or forsakes. Grab hold of His word. It never returns void.

God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.

    He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.

He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.

    And he knows everything, inside and out.

He energizes those who get tired,

    gives fresh strength to dropouts.

For even young people tire and drop out,

    young folk in their prime stumble and fall.

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.

    They spread their wings and soar like eagles,

They run and don’t get tired,

    they walk and don’t lag behind.

Isaiah 40:31 the message