Frenzy Friday

God has a sense of humor. As I have been meditating on the word abide this week, my schedule has been packed and this week has actually been one of the busiest I have had in a while. Not only has my calendar been packed with extra stuff but the little stuff has been more than normal too. My oldest has been home all week which is wonderful but throws off the schedule a bit. My youngest is getting ready to celebrate a big birthday. My middle one has had lots of fun stuff going on at college this week and I have tried to have time to listen to the reports when they come. The weather changed quickly which always means that the girls inevitably will not be able to find that perfect sweat shirt or pair of boots that got put up when warm weather came. We had wedding plan meetings and made some big decisions. All the little things this week added up.


In the midst of my family stuff, this week brought about some really heavy prayer requests. My heart has been stretched trying to understand some of the sadness and brokenness and heartache. It is really hard sometimes, isn't it? To take into our human minds the hurts of this world. To try and make sense of the tragedy and the darkness. To celebrate the good as the bad seems so heightened around us. It just wears you out sometimes.


This morning, as I sat in my chair and realized how tired I was physically, it dawned on me that my soul was at rest. My heart was heavy but my soul was at peace. My flesh had been in a frenzy all week but somehow in the midst of it all I actually felt calm. I was just sitting there wrapped up my blanket looking out the window with no real thoughts. And that is when I realized that I was abiding.


All week long I had read scripture and stories and looked up quotes on abiding. My mind was set on things above. I had saturated myself in God's Word. Not for hours. In fact, a few days this week my quiet time lasted about 10 minutes. It was all the time I had. But in those few quiet minutes this week, I intentionally focused on God. On what it meant to abide. To be still. To know.


In His faithfulness, He revealed to me the answer. It has absolutely nothing to do with how hard I work. With how much I do. With all the people I help or pray with or talk to. It is not about my children or my husband. It is not about the good things I am doing or the heavy things that surround me. It is not about the voices trying to get my attention or the emotions that come from being hormonal. It doesn't matter if I am sick or if I have worked out 5 times this week. What matters is that my heart and my mind and my spirit were stayed on Him.


So as I begin another busy weekend full of celebration and family and friends and fun, I am at Peace. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or how busy next week might be, but I know that this week God met me at my point of need. He was faithful to teach me and comfort me. Even though my body was in a frenzy at times and there were things pulling for my attention, my heart was kneeling. My mind was saturated with Truth. My spirit was agreeing with His. I was abiding.

Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, 

present your requests to God. 

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:6-7

A prayer of Blessing...

I love Fall. It is my very favorite season. I love the color. I love the weather. I love the holidays. I love the food and I love the smells. As the yellows and reds begin to peek out from the backdrop of green among the trees, I am always reminded of the beauty to come. The cooler air slowly creeps in. The festivals and fairs are advertised. The apple cider shows up on the shelves in the grocery store. It all just makes me smile.


But just like everything else in life, a new season requires change. This week I have been reminded how quickly life can change. Literally, overnight, we can wake up to a life that looks totally different. It can be overwhelming at times. We can get thrown off balance by the sudden shift in our lives.


Last night at my weekly Bible Study, we talked about how change is not always easy for us. All of my girls are in the very middle of their school semester. They all have had midterms and other tests the last few weeks. They are looking at their grades, adjusting their schedules and working hard to reach the desired goal for their classes. It brings about stress. Good or bad, the change causes them to readjust and shift. The stress placed on our students is overwhelming sometimes.


I have a friend who ended up in the emergency room with her husband. He had chest pains and just like that they were in a hospital running tests, placing stents and learning about medicines. Another friend is heartbroken over one of her children and the consequences imposed by his actions. Another friend is desperately trying to salvage a marriage that is crumbling around her. Another friend is bringing her husband home from an alcohol rehab center. Another friend is watching her beautiful daughter live out consequences that came from others but still must be walked through. And yet another friend is offering to adopt a child from a young teenage mother so that she will not choose abortion.


Life is difficult and hard. It threatens to engulf us in heartache and sadness sometimes. There are weeks when we feel like we are surrounded by death and sickness and darkness. But, we have Hope. Our Hope came to overcome the world. Their is always voices and choices that are competing for our attention. But we can choose which one to listen to. Just look up. Turn your eyes toward Jesus. He is our portion and our prize. He is our ever present help in times of trouble. He is our healer and our provider.


If life is rolling in around you like the wind blowing in the cold front this morning, then make the choice to bundle up with Truth today. Let God reach down and lift your chin towards Him. Allow Him to bless you. To keep you. To make His face to shine upon you. To be gracious to you. Let Him lift up His countenance upon you and give you Peace.


My prayer for you today is this: "May the Lord bless you with Peace. May He cover you with gladness. May He remind you that He goes before you and that He is your rear guard. May He surround you with favor and with strength. May His love be evident to you. May everywhere you look and turn today be a reminder that even though you feel unsteady you serve a God whose Kingdom is unshakeable. May you know that you are loved and cared for and appreciated and called by name. May you feel the overwhelming power of a God that will never leave you and never forsake you. May you remember that there is nothing that can separate you from His love."


Be blessed, my friends.

Consequences and Character

I woke up this morning to the rain spinning and swirling loudly down the gutter next to my bedroom window. It was the strangest sound. It almost roared as the wind and rain swirled together and poured downward towards the ground. It actually took me a minute to figure out what in the world the sound was. It was unfamiliar and it startled me out of a deep sleep.


As I thought about that this morning during my quiet time, the Lord used it to remind me of one of the hardest parts of being a parent. I think that watching our children live out the consequences of their own poor choices is towards the top of the not so fun part of parenting. We have a natural tendency to keep them from any sort of harm so we have to be very intentional when they need to learn from their mistakes. 


Sometimes those poor choices or bad decisions mix together and swirl out of control. I have friends who are watching their children suffer from choosing the wrong friends or trying to fix one mistake with another. I am watching one of my own daughters learn a big lesson about commitment and follow through. It is so hard to see them hurting or struggling through the tough part.


But God's plan is to carry out to completion the good work that He began in them and in us. If we jump in and fix it, then we are robbing our children of the blessing of learning character. I know so many parents who are so caught up in making their children happy that they have lost sight of the goal. We are raising the next generation. The ones who will run the corporations. The ones who will run this country. The ones who will be the teachers and the doctors and the parents of our grandchildren.


As hard as it is to see them suffer, we must allow the lessons to be learned. That is how character is formed. Not by the rules that were broken or the mistakes that were made but by the consequences that come because of their actions. No matter how big or small the consequences may be.


Last night, as we were dealing with a consequence in our own home, my husband had to remind me of this truth. The mom in me wanted so badly to justify the issue because it was causing me to feel uncomfortable. I felt like I was the one made to look bad as a result of my daughter's choices. It was simply a matter of her being motivated and following through with the expectations that were given to her by a coach. But to me, it felt like a character flaw that was my job to teach her. I felt like I had done something wrong because she did not meet the expectation. Somehow I was to blame for her character flaw.


Danny reminded me that character is something learned from experience not taught. Our actions and decisions as parents affect that experience. We can allow the consequences to be fully carried out or we can step in and stop them prematurely. It is one of the hardest parenting concepts to learn. But as we mess it up and try again, then we too are gaining character.


Thank goodness for His grace. It gives us the strength to keep going. The strength to love our children enough to allow the consequences. The strength to wait it out. The strength to be the parent and not the friend. The strength to realize that our children's actions do not always reflect a lack of our parenting skills. The strength to watch as the Lord molds and shapes them in His refining fire. The strength to remember that our Hope is in what we cannot see. The strength to gain the character we so desperately want to see in our own children.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, 

because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 

perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

The Woman who Abides

I saw the most wonderful post on Facebook yesterday. It shows the contrast between what we do when we choose to be super woman and what we do when we choose to be an abiding woman. Such true stuff. As I read over the list countless times yesterday, I was having a hard time getting past the first statement. Super woman does. Abiding woman is.


My favorite verse in the Bible is Psalm 46:10. Essentially it says that we are to be still and know. Pretty simple. The definition for abide is to wait for; to remain; to endure without yielding; to live or to dwell in a place. It sounds a lot like being still. But in order to abide in something not only must we be still, we must know that we can trust the place we have chosen to abide in.


As women we instinctively do. And as moms we feel like that if we don't do then it won't get done. God wired us that way. But we get caught up in ourselves sometimes as we go about doing. We think that we are the only ones that can do it right. That if it is broken then we are called to fix it. If our children or our husband aren't doing what we think they should be doing then they are wrong. Our perspective of working our way out of a situation or into the solution can spin us out of control.


When we begin to realize that remaining in Him is the only way we can truly be at peace, then we think and live and act out of a different place. We aren't as worried about pleasing others as we are about pleasing God. We don't work out of our own agenda because we are letting the Spirit be our guide. 


I received a text yesterday from a friend who said she was in the emergency room with her son. She thought it was his appendix but they were still running tests. She asked me to pray and I did. A few hours later she texted me back and said they were headed into surgery and could I please pray again. I immediately texted her and asked if she was okay and if she needed anything. She sent back this text. "We are good! At total peace because I know that he is in God's hands." She was abiding.


I have spent a lot of years doing. Trying to do the right thing. Trying to look the right way. Trying to be the best mom. Trying to be a good wife. Trying to make sure my children were happy. Trying to be a good friend. Trying to fix the situations around me. Trying to make sure that all the plates kept spinning. All it did was make me tired. 


But there is a better way. It is much easier. It will bring us much needed rest. And in the end, it will bring us the results we are looking for. We don't need to be a woman that does. We need to be a woman that is. That is on our knees for our children and our husbands. That is in His word looking for the answers. That is a friend who prays before we offer advice. That is someone who knows Who we belong to. That is a person that lives in the Peace that passes all understanding. That is a woman who can just be still and know.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you,

 you will ask what you desire, 

and it shall be done for you."

 John 15:7

A Moment in Time

My husband and I run on very different time schedules. I grew up thinking that arriving somewhere on time meant showing up 10 minutes early. He grew up thinking that arriving somewhere on time meant whenever you actually got there. We still see the time issue very differently. My girls think and act very differently on the time issue too. My oldest is extremely punctual. Always wanting to arrive early and absolutely hates to be late. My middle daughter is more toward the right on time thinking. No need to be early but don't want to be late either. My youngest daughter is of the laid back thought of her father. As long as you show up then all is well. It is so funny to watch all of us get ready to go somewhere all together. Let's just say that we have learned to compromise over the years. If not, someone may have gotten hurt.


Isn't it funny how even in the same family there is a difference of thinking? We each are wired differently and live our lives according to that bent. That is what makes families so fun. Learning to compromise and love each other through the differences. It always makes for great teaching moments for a mom. Especially when they were little and we were getting ready for a big event with three little girls. Danny learned quickly how to tie a bow, pick out the right shoes and even do a "bump" free ponytail. He is talented that way.


But God is not on a time schedule. Time as we know it does not hold true for the Sovereign Creator of the Universe. He isn't bound by a schedule or time restraint. All of our times are in His hands. He is never early or late.


We have been talking a lot at my church about Kairos moments. Those moments when you really feel like God has spoken to you or shown you something about your life. We all have had them. That moment in time when you get that "light bulb" illuminating thought. When you have an experience, good or bad, that causes you to stop, think and reflect. As a church, we have been using a circle diagram that is based on six directives. Observe, Reflect, Discuss, Plan, Account and Act. We have been using this model in our middle school ministry, high school ministry and our adult ministry. It is truly a life changing concept.


Each year for the last few years, I have chosen a word to represent the upcoming year for me personally and for my family. This years word is Abide. It has been amazing how the Lord has shown me that abiding in Him is the answer to all my questions. As I was praying about what to write this week, the word abide has been all around me. I read it this morning in my devotion and I saw something about it on Facebook. I think He is trying to tell me something. So as I am observing and reflecting today, I will try and discuss what I am hearing and learning over the next four days.


Abide with me this week. He will meet us in each moment of our day.

Exceeding Expectations

I was 24 years old when Katie was born. I had been married almost 3 years. My world changed drastically with that little bundle of joy. She was the first grandchild for both families. She obviously was a little spoiled and extremely loved. I remember that during the holidays of her first year the whole family would just sit around and watch her. Everything revolved around making her laugh and thinking she was the cutest thing ever. Of course, she was.


Danny and I were planners even back then. We had planned when we would have kids and planned for how we would allow me to stay home with them. We had it in writing. A little ledger chart that showed how much money we had in savings. We charted how much we needed to put away and how long it would take us to be at a place where we felt comfortable for me not to work. Our friends thought we were a little crazy. We even had a ten year plan.


All along the way of having babies and all the expenses that come along with that, Danny kept us on track. He diligently, yet gently, reminded me when things were not in the budget. We decided what we could live on and we lived on that. No more. Usually, because of me, no less. We were happy. Our girls were happy. We had everything we needed and a lot of what we wanted.


Because of his diligence and planning, I have been home raising my girls for 21 years now. It is my job. It is my passion. It is my privilege. I take it very seriously and I usually do most of it on my knees. I have had my moments when I let people discourage me about not working outside the home. I have been frustrated at times by the sacrifices we had to make to allow me to stay home. I have found myself over extended at times thinking I had more time to give to other things. But mostly I have been humbled by what God has done through the decisions we have made.


We have our own business. It is a family business that has been a part of Danny's family for over 40 years now. Because of his father's hard work and him following suit, we have been blessed. It was a mutual decision for me to not work. I go into the office twice a week and help where I can. Over the years I have learned enough about the business to be able to work when Danny goes on mission trips or hunting trips. We have learned to switch from the husband/wife role to the boss/employee role over time. I always tell people that I have been trying to get fired for over twenty years now.


I have wondered through the years if it has mattered that I have been home with my girls. I have second guessed myself at times. I have felt guilty at times because I was not helping out monetarily. But through the years, the Lord has shown me the benefits. This is what He called me to do. Danny has sacrificed more than me. He has worked long hours and given up some of his hobbies in order for us to be a strong family. He works hard every day but still finds the energy and time to be a good dad. It has not been easy and I am grateful. He never once has made me feel like I was taking something from him or that we were a burden to him. And I know that the world and the enemy have tried to convince him otherwise.


Last week as we were eating lunch at the office, we were talking about all of our planning and preparation for the future. He looked at me and said that he thought we had done pretty good with one income and that he was glad that we did it the way we did. He said that he knew that our girls were blessed because I was home with them and that they would bless his grandchildren because of it. I don't think he knows what those words meant to me.


Parenting is hard under the best of circumstances. But it is a calling. God wants us to trust Him and let Him lead us along the way. Not everyone makes the same choices. Sometimes our choices are made for us. Whatever that looks like for us, we cannot compare ourselves to others. Whether you are working full time or part time, whether you are staying at home or raising your kids on your own, whether you have saved for the future or have no idea how you will make it through next month; God is there. He knows your needs. He knows your heart. He will provide as you parent the next generation. You can expect Him to be faithful. You can trust Him to give you the tools you need and the energy it takes. Just ask. He will exceed your expectations. I promise.


And when He does. Tell your children. Share with them how God has worked in your family. Share with them how He provides for your needs and guides you along the way.  They will see that you trust Him. They will learn to trust Him too.  And they will then make a difference in the generation after them.

"so the next generation would know them, 

even the children yet to be born, 

and they in turn would tell their children." 

Psalm 78:6

The Path that leads to Peace

When Katie and I went to Rome this summer, our hotel was situated within walking distance of everything we needed. We would take the same route every morning to get to the bus station where the tour buses or the taxis or any other mode of transportation we needed was available. After a few days of walking the same way every morning, some of the people began to recognize us. We would pass the same bell hops in their bright red uniforms outside hotels and the same waiters in their crisp white coats setting up the outside cafe for the breakfast crowd. We would say hello and they would say "hey" or "hi" back with a huge smile on their face as they practiced their English. Even though we were in another country and everyone around us was speaking another language, that walk became familiar for us. It made us feel comfortable each day.

Several of the nights we were there, we would make our way to the Trevi fountain and eat at one the outside restaurants. The same thing happened there. As we would read the menus and look for a place to eat that night, the hostesses and the waiters would recognize us. They would smile and wave. Some would talk to us in broken English and laugh. But again, in an unfamiliar place, we felt comfortable and safe.

Life can be uncomfortable sometimes, can't it? We can feel out of our comfort zone so quickly. Our circumstances can become so overwhelming that we don't recognize anything familiar around us. There are even days when we feel like everyone around us is speaking a different language. Like the world around us didn't get the memo that our life was falling apart. No one seems to care that we are hurting or scared or lonely or just tired. Our circumstances begin to dictate our feelings.

When that happens, sometimes we just have to stop and be still. But we tend to run to anything or anyone that will listen to us. Sometimes that path is the one that is familiar to us. The path to that friend who will vent with us. That path to that place that makes us forget what we are feeling. Maybe even the path to that vice that numbs it all. 

But God says that His Word is a light to our path. Run to Him. The more we take that path, the more familiar it becomes. We begin to feel comfortable and safe. We begin to hear a language that we recognize. Our circumstances begin to pale in comparison to His Peace.

Try His path today. You will find it familiar and comfortable and safe.

"Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

Psalm 119:105

Counting my blessings...

I grew up in a small town south of Atlanta. My parents lived outside of town. It would be considered the country today. Lots of room between houses. Lots of open land to explore and roam around on. My brother and I had go-carts and motorcycles and ponies. We had a pool and a trampoline and lots of dogs and cats. We did not have central air when I was young; just an attic fan and screens on all the windows. We had a tire swing and a BB gun. We had a garden and lots of pecan trees. We had a tree house that my daddy built and a barn full of tractors and tools. It was a good place to grow up.


The name of our street was Campground Road named for the church campground at the end of the road. If you grew up in the south, then you know about camp meeting. One week out of the summer families gather at the camp ground to hear preaching and be with family and eat lots of good food. There are cabins with tin roofs and sawdust floors that have belonged to families for generations. There is an open air tabernacle with wooden pews in the center of the camp ground where preachers from the area churches come and share a sermon each night. There is a big cabin owned by the church for the youth groups to stay all week. I grew up going to camp meeting every year. It is a special place.


One of the best memories I have about camp meeting is the hymns we sang. The old hymns. The ones that you find yourself humming if you grew up singing them. One of my very favorites that we sang every year was about counting your blessings. "Count your blessings, name them one by one."


Life these days doesn't look like the simple perspective I had as a child. Things get a bit more complicated the older we get. Our perspective tends to change with our circumstances. We lose sight sometimes of all of our blessings. They aren't as easy to see through the demands of life. But they are there. We just have to stop and count them sometimes.


We don't stop often though, do we? Let's stop today and count our blessings. Name them one by one. Write them down. Tell them to our kids. Get them to write theirs down. When we do this, we can't help but see what God has done. In the middle of the worst of circumstances, there is always a blessing. We just have to look for it. Count it as a gift. Receive it. Cherish it.


And then... pass it on! Bless someone today out of your blessings. Tell someone what a blessing they are to you. Share what God has done for you with others. You may be the only blessing they can count today.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.


Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.


So, amid the conflicts, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.


Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your blessings, see what God hath done;
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

Well done...

I have a lot of incredible friends. They are women that inspire me and make me want to be a better person, a better friend and a better mom. I have had the privilege of walking beside many wonderful women while they experienced some really tough stuff. I have prayed with all of them. Cried with most and been righteously angry with some. But, it is no doubt that I have been blessed to know them all.


I have a friend who has done some intense counseling the last few years to deal with some painful issues from her past. She worked hard and kept pushing through until she found freedom. I told her that she even looks different. You can see the difference in her countenance. Well done, my friend!


I have a friend who found herself getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. She moved out of her house and sought Godly counsel. She had worked all of her life and was able to buy a house of her own. She has opened her home for teenage foster children and unwed mothers. She has offered a safe haven for others. I called her last weekend and asked her to help another one of my friends who was in desperate need of a safe place to live. She said yes without hesitation. Well done, my friend!


I have a friend who married her best friend right after college. They were living life and raising kids. Life took a few unexpected turns and her husband turned to alcohol. She knew God was calling her to stay in the marriage. It was hard. It was long. We prayed and cried out to God for almost 4 years. She was obedient and He was faithful. She told me not long ago after a particularly good weekend that she was finally beginning to see a glimpse of her best friend again. Well done, my friend!


I have a friend who lived a really hard life. She had a daughter who was living with a girl who had a very rough set of friends. She was in her bathroom in the house when the boyfriend came in and began to attack the other girl. He shot. The bullet went through the wall and killed my friend's daughter. After lots of years and lots of prayer and lots of healing; my friend went to the prison to see the person who killed her daughter. She forgave him. She told him so. She started a grief ministry that now is in several different churches. She has a granddaughter that is named for her beloved daughter. Well done, my friend!


I have a friend that came from an abusive and hard background. She made a lot of bad choices. She turned to drugs. She met a man that wanted to love her and help her. They got married. She got help. They came to our church and heard the Word of God preached very clearly. They found Jesus. She has 6 kids. She homeschools. She has worked with a ministry that reaches out to women in the adult entertainment business. They go into clubs and love on these women. She is amazing. Well done, my friend!


I have a friend who went on the mission field as a grandmother. Her and her husband served for several years in the middle east. She came home and was looking for a way to reach the people group that she had left. She started going to an apartment ministry that our church does. She reached out to the women there and formed a ministry to teach them to sew handbags. Very nice handbags. They make them with donated material. They are beautiful. They sell them so that these women can help provide for their families. In the process, the women learn English. They learn about life in the United States and they learn about the love of Jesus. Well done, my friend!


I have a friend who was born into a Muslim family. She met Jesus in a dream. She made a decision to give her life to Him. She lives with her husband and children who do not share her views. She came to my Bible Study. She has prayed beautiful prayers over me and my family in Arabic. She loves Jesus. She loves people. She helps so many women who are struggling and she has an amazing outlook on life. Well done, my friend!


I have friends who have experienced really hard things. I have friends who have been blessed beyond measure. I know women who are incredible mothers. I know women who are pouring into their grandchildren.  I know women who are making a difference in the business world. I know women who have chosen to raise their children on the mission field. I know women who are preparing to go to another country to share their lives with others. I know women who are raising their children by themselves and doing a great job. They are all living a calling. They are making a difference. They are loving others with a Love that offers freedom. I love them all. And they love well.


That is what I want to do. Love well. To offer what I have. To help when I can and to be a friend at all times. Thank you, my friends, for setting the example.

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! 

You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. 
Come and share your master's happiness!' 
Matthew 25:21

A Monday of Memories

Today is one of those dreary kind of days. The kind that makes you just want to sit and do nothing.  As I was sitting in my chair early this morning, I was thinking about the weekend. We had a great weekend. Celebrated a birthday. Spent some quality time with my sweet husband. Made a drive up to the North Georgia mountains and reminisced a little about our college days. As we drove through our old campus, we realized that there is not much left of the old. In fact, a large part of the campus is completely new. But the dorms I lived in and the dorm he lived in are still there. We drove around and remembered old stories and old friends. That campus holds great memories.


We went to our favorite restaurant in town. It is still the same. A little bigger now, but it still looks the same. It is the restaurant we ate in for many of our dates. We ate there the night he proposed to me. We took the girls back there years later to share the stories. It holds great memories.


We drove around the town and out to a camp where we used to go to hike and fish. We spent a lot of Saturday afternoons there just walking around, watching him fish and talking for hours. I grew up going to summer camp there so I would remember all those great camp experiences while we were making new memories. He proposed to me in front of the waterfall there. Our girls have gone to summer camp there. We have taken them back there to see the waterfall and tell the story. That camp holds great memories.


We ate some fudge. We ate some boiled peanuts. We drove around all of our old hang out places. We talked and we laughed. But most of all we remembered. All those years ago, we made memories. We love to tell some of the stories to our girls. They feel like they know a little part of our lives before they came along. 


They have always loved our stories. They know the story of our first date. We told them how daddy decided we were going to walk to the restaurant because he thought it would be romantic. We told them how a torrential down pour came and their aunt had to come pick us up and take us back to campus. We have walked down that same road with them and eaten in that same restaurant. We have shown them pictures of us back then. So many years ago.


As I thought about all of these things this morning, I was reminded of something our pastor always says. He says that one of the most important things you can do for your kids is tell them your story. Not just the stories of your childhood and of your life; but of your relationship with the Lord. Tell them how you came to faith. Tell them if you struggled or what you have learned since then. Tell them about how you have grown and what God has done in your life. He will use all of your story. Even the hard parts and the parts that weren't such good memories. He works all things together for good. Tell your children that.


Our past can become part of their future. Our stories can become stories they tell their children. My prayer is that our story of our faith and of our love for Jesus is a huge part of that legacy. That their stories will be a reflection of what we have told them and taught them. Memories hold powerful stories that reach into the generations to come.

"...so the next generation would know them,

 even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children."

Psalm 78:6

My Best Friend...

I met him when I was 18 years old. I told my friend that I was going to marry him soon after. Sometimes you just know these things. And sometimes the dream actually comes true. We dated for 3 years through college and then I married him when I was 21. He was truly my best friend, but the being married part was not that easy...


Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of work and a lot of prayer and a lot of sacrifice. I may have married my best friend but I was living with a partner for life. Someone who had his own thoughts and his own ways and his own opinions. Yes, we enjoyed the same things. For the most part, we were raised the same way. And as far as we knew, we wanted the same things. Then reality came along.


While we were doing our pre-marital counseling, the pastor asked us how we felt about divorce. Well, that was an interesting question for an engaged couple. He said he didn't want to know if we thought it was right or wrong. He wanted to know if it was an option. That one question was a defining moment in our future married life. He told us to talk about it. So, we did.


For us, we decided before we got married, that it was not an option. We took it off the table. Both of us. We made a conscious decision that as we did life together and worked through the ups and downs, we would be faced with a lot of choices. We would have the choice of how we handled the tough arguments and the bad days and the unforeseen issues that would come along. But that choice was not available. For us, we made a decision that day that changed our perspective for life.


God has blessed us. It has not been easy. People ask me all the time what it takes to have a strong marriage. I tell them it takes two people who are both willing to work hard, pray harder and put the other one first at all cost. It takes a willingness to put someone ahead of ourselves. To find out what God has to say about marriage and then to actually try and follow through. It takes sacrifice. It takes thick skin. It takes commitment. It takes a sense of humor. But most of all, it takes honesty.


As I am watching my daughter prepare for a marriage that will last, I am finding myself thinking a lot about my own marriage. About what advice I can give her and what bit of wisdom might be a defining question for her. The best I can come up with is God's way is best. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. They are better.


Danny and I both grew up in a Christian home. We both grew up going to church, going to youth group and reading our Bible. We knew the lingo and the actions. But, we both were missing the relationship. Mainly, because there was no one around to disciple us. To teach us. To live life on life with us so that we understood what we said we believed.


I am so thankful for the people who God placed in our lives early on to help us both gain a deeper understanding. We got married young and so we naturally spent our time around people in our same stage of life. That usually meant people who were older than us. We needed that discipleship and that life on life example. God was faithful and we knew that we wanted to model discipleship for our children. 


I believe that relationship is the key to everything. No amount of study or rules or discipline can replace relationship. It is what we were made for. To be in relationship with God and with each other. The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sin. I am so thankful that my husband loves me. But I am more thankful that he loves Jesus. That relationship is what has made our relationship so strong.


I am celebrating my best friend's birthday this weekend. I still love spending time with him. I still love the things that made me want to marry him. But, today, that love is so much stronger and deeper than I could have ever imagined all those years ago. Jesus is the reason.


Happy Birthday my sweet husband. You have blessed me and your girls beyond measure. Thank you that you love Jesus. Thank you that you love us. Thank you that you made a covenant with me all those years ago. May God richly bless you as you begin another year of your life. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of it!

Intentional Living

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." ~ Steve Jobs


As I have read all of the articles and news stories this morning about the death of Steve Jobs, I found this quote of his to be the most interesting. What an amazing man he was. Full of knowledge and insight, but most of all full of vision. He saw the potential of things. He did not necessarily invent things. He took things he saw and turned them into their full potential. He was intentional about how he thought, about how he worked and about how he lived. And in the process, he impacted this world in a way very few people have. In a way that leaves a legacy.


We have that same opportunity. We may not be a genius or even understand technology, but we have the potential to impact the lives and the world around us. We too can leave a legacy. We have the choice every day to live that day with intention and with purpose. And if we know Jesus, we can have the knowledge and the insight. But we also know the One who has the vision. That power and vision is inside of us. We just have to tap into it.


This morning I read this in my devotion: "Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow Me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don't know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough! Some of My richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real."


We are not promised tomorrow. But we have today and the promise that He knows what tomorrow brings. The choice is ours. Let's begin living intentionally. We can be an intentional friend. We can have an intentional prayer life. We can be an intentional parent. We can make intentional decisions that will impact our todays and bless our tomorrows.


Today, let's remember what is important. We can't control the future. Not for ourselves or for our families or for our friends. But we can control how we think and how we act. We can be intentional with our money, with our words, with our time and with our love.


Choose to look at today and count your blessings. Teach your children to count theirs too. Life is hard and full of unexpected twists and turns, but we know the One who knows how it all ends. Trust Him with that vision and walk in the way He is leading. Be intentional about it.

"I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, 

that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; 

therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live." 

Deuteronomy 30:19

A Gift

This morning I have read a facebook message about the anniversary of the death of a friend's son, talked to a friend who is in a desperate and dangerous situation with her marriage, prayed for a friend who is getting married this weekend after a long, painful season of divorce and hurt and processed a conversation from yesterday with a friend whose 3 month old nephew is in a hospital bed waiting for a bone marrow match to cure a sickness that the doctor's don't even have a solid diagnosis for.


Life is hard and tough and sad and painful sometimes. It can be overwhelming. We can find ourselves focusing on all the bad stuff. But there is Hope.


Today, let's be a gift of friendship or love or help to someone. Hug your kids, be sweet to your spouse, smile at the person in the grocery store, pray for your co-worker, help someone who looks like they may need it. Whatever God lays on your heart today, do it.


God is not restrained by time the way we are. Use your time wisely today. Don't let the hours slip away without making a difference. He will bless your effort.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is." Ephesians 5:15-17.


I am praying for everyone who reads this today. My heart is breaking for some, rejoicing with others and Hopeful for so many. Consider yourself lifted to the throne room of Grace.

Love is...

There has been a Facebook posting that has been going around lately about what we should teach our daughters. It is really good. It talks about what we should teach our daughters about how a man should see them and treat them. I saw it again this morning. It says:

We need to teach our daughters the difference between

A man who FLATTERS her and a man who COMPLIMENTS her.

A man who SPENDS MONEY on her and a man who INVESTS in her.

A man who views her as PROPERTY and a man who views her PROPERLY.

A man who LUSTS after her and a man who LOVES her.

A man who believes he is GOD'S GIFT to women and 
a man who remembers that a woman was GOD'S GIFT to MAN.

And then teach OUR SONS to be that kind of man. 

I agree with all of these things. However, as a mom of three daughters, I think there is something more important to teach our daughters and our sons. We can teach them all of these things but if they do not have a foundation of why they should expect this or why they should treat someone this way, then I am not sure that it means the same thing.

There are different kinds of love found in the Bible. One is Eros love. This is what our teenagers are beginning to feel. This is the human level of love. The attraction and the heart fluttering thing. I have always told my girls when these feelings come along that they aren't always real. Now, I know to them they feel real and sometimes they may be the beginning of something real, but more times than not it is just that. A feeling based on emotions that they have not taken the time to sort out.


There is also Phileo love. This is the friendship kind of love. That comfortable feeling that you feel with your best friend. This is the part that needs to be developed early in a relationship. I always encourage my girls when they first meet a boy to ask lots of questions. Find out who they are quickly. Find out if you have something more in common than just thinking that each other are cute. When you are married to your best friend, it sure makes life fun.


Then there is Agape love. This is God's kind of love. It is supreme and unconditional. It is patient and it is kind. It does not envy or boast and it is not proud. It does not dishonor or serve self. It is not easily angered or keep score. It does not delight in wrong but rejoices in truth. It protects. It trusts. It hopes and it will last. This kind of love, when it comes from both people, never fails.


That is the goal I have for my children. I want them to choose a partner that knows these things too. I know that it seems silly to most people to talk to our teenagers about marriage and about true love, but if we are going to allow them to attach their hearts and feelings to someone then we better set the standard or they will set it to what is around them. All of the things in the quote are the result of the foundation. When we teach them Who sets the standard and help them navigate through the feelings, then we are helping to build a foundation that will not crumble.


I teach all of my girls to guard their hearts. Don't get caught up in feelings that can mislead you. Don't just date because everyone else is. Don't allow yourself to get in a situation where your feelings are dictating your actions. Even the little teenage crushes teach our children what relationships are about. They learn early and quickly.


Let's teach them the difference in what God's Word says about love and what the world says. Let's teach them the difference between God's relationship rules and the world's rules. Let's talk about what real Love is versus Hollywood love. Let's show them that when you choose His way there are rewards and blessings beyond measure.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 

You shall teach them diligently to your children, 

and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, 

and when you walk by the way, 

and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

My Daily Inspiration and Hope

I guard my morning quiet time. Over the years it has become my lifeline. For so long, I looked at quiet time or devotion as a chore. Something that I had to do to be spiritual. Something that had to be done a certain way. At a certain time. For a required length of time to be effective.


I worked so hard at it. I got so frustrated when it didn't work out or I couldn't make myself sit still or stay focused. Guilt creeped in because I was working and striving instead of being still. I thought that in order for it to count and for God to hear me that I had to look and act a certain way or I had to pray and say certain things. Silly, right?


When I began my daily journal about 5 years ago, the first thing I did was write a covenant. I wrote that I was covenanting with God to meet with Him daily and to seek His presence. That was it. Anything else would be an added bonus. No time restraint. No formula or outline or method. Just me, my journal and God. I wrote a long journal entry that day pouring out my frustration. Asking for forgiveness for not making this decision sooner. As I wrote and asked God to show me what a daily time with Him looked like, I wrote the following sentence... "Did you not recognize Me all these years as you were just living your daily stuff?"


All those nights that I rocked crying babies. All those early mornings when I waited quietly for the rest of the house to wake up. All those afternoons that I was so exhausted that I was wondering if I would make it to bed time. All those times I was driving back and forth from my house to my parents house wondering how I could split my time and make everyone happy. All those times I thought the laundry room would explode because there was just not enough time in the day. All those times my heart ached because I was convinced that one of my girls hated me for punishing them. All those days that I said a quick prayer or called out in desperation or simply sat down and listened for a second.


He was still there. It didn't feel very quiet. I wasn't giving Him all my attention. I wasn't writing down my thoughts and prayers but He was still there. He heard me. He answered me. He loved me the whole time. He met me where I was until I could meet Him where I needed to be.


Some days I sit for 5 minutes. Some days I sit for an hour. Some days I read out of my devotion books. Some days I just read scripture. Some days I read nothing. Some days I cry out on my knees. Some days I just talk.  My schedule is easier to navigate these days so it is usually always around the same time every day. But that has looked different over the years. Whatever the time of day is or the length of time I sit or the amount of reading, writing, praying or listening I do, He always meets me there. Every single time.


So today I encourage you to put down your own expectations. Pick up a journal, a devotion book and your Bible. Stop for just a little while. Wherever "there" is... the carpool line, the laundry room, the kitchen table, your special place. He is already there and waiting. He will meet you there. Every single time.

"Lord, forgive me that I have so little time to spend on my knees. Raising children and running a busy house, I have to do most of my praying 'on the hoof' as it were. But, Lord, You know my heart is kneeling." 

~ Ruth Bell Graham