There is nothing that I can think of that can cause more joy or more pain for the heart of a mother than the thoughts of her children. I have friends who are grieving the loss of their child. Who are desperately trying to help their child. Who are at the end of their options and having to let go of a child. But the one thing we all have in common is that we are continuing to seek God for answers.
I read the story of Abraham and Isaac this morning in my devotion. But it was written from the perspective of Sarah. I have never thought about Sarah's emotions in the story. We don't know if she knew what was happening that day that Abraham left with her beloved Isaac. We don't know if he confided in her about what God had told him to do. But I would guess that she had a mom's intuition that something was going on. Moms just know these things. Even when we struggle to figure out what Dad is thinking we usually know when it is something concerning one of our children.
So many times in my girl's lives I have gotten that feeling. That feeling that something was not quite right. That feeling that they were not telling me the whole story. That feeling that something was hurting them or bothering them. Sometimes I could pull it out of them. Sometimes I could not. But I still just know when things don't feel whole. When they feel a bit off. When their hearts seem troubled or heavy.
Last year I asked the Lord to give me a verse from His Word that represented each of my girls. That represented what my groanings were that I could not put my own words to. A promise that would remind me that He is faithful in their lives too. A tangible reminder that He loves them more than I ever could. I wrote them down on cards. Several cards that I have in different places.
It took a little while but I feel like I was given a word for each of my children. A promise. Like the promise that God gave to Abraham. He had promised that He would make him into a great nation. That his descendants would number greater than the stars. In Abraham's mind I am sure that he rationalized the fact that God would need Isaac to fulfill that promise. That surely he would not take him from them. But he also knew his God. He knew He was faithful. He knew that His plan for Isaac would ultimately bring Glory to Himself. Whatever the outcome.
I wonder if Sarah knew that too. If she believed it as strongly as Abraham. If she held on to her husband's strength to get through those days after they left. Did she hit her knees immediately? Did she cry out and remind God of what He had promised her? Did she have the longest intercessory prayer imaginable?
I read a friend's words yesterday that put a tangible thought to my heart. She said that she could trust God for her own needs but that she struggled to trust Him with her children's needs. Me too! He created us to be moms. To nurture. To fix. To mend. To kiss the boo-boo. To hold tight. To understand when no one else does. To listen to the whining. To hear the heart. It is a love that mimics His for us. And it comes with a cord that wraps us into their lives so tightly that we have a hard time letting someone else do those things. But He says trust Me.
So today I pulled one of the cards out. I reminded myself what He told me concerning that daughter. What He promises concerning her. I am standing in the gap for her. Trusting the One who created her and holds her future. Knowing that even when I cry out for a change of plan or for the hurt to stop or for Him to get her attention, He has promised that He will never leave her or forsake her. That no matter what the outcome, He will make all things beautiful in His time. According to His plan. And I am learning to trust Him with my mom's heart. He has the better plan.
So Abraham called that place
The Lord Will Provide.
And to this day is said,
"On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided."
Genesis 22:14
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