The older my girls get the more I realize how very different they are. Each one unique. Each one with their own bent and their own ideas and their own love language. It is enough to stretch a mom's heart to the breaking point. Is it just me or do all of you get stretched to truly understand and love each of your children with the wisdom that they are fearfully and wonderfully made with a plan and purpose that is just for them? A path stretched before each one that has their individual name on it.
Our girls range seven years from first to last. Each one is in a very distinct season that does not cross over the others. None of my girls did the same sports or ran in the same circles. They each have very distinct strengths and desires and motivations. One is very dependent on our approval. One is definitely not. One is so laid back that she just takes life in stride. Each one on their own unique path toward their future.
As I watched and listened this weekend, I was struck at how they each loved one another. Even if they were annoyed at behavior or ticked at a comment or trying to tell their story from the day, they loved each other with a fierce loyalty. Protective. Proud. Encouraging. They will always be there for each other. That part I am so very sure about.
But my mom heart is living in a season of divided emotions. Trying to meet each of my daughter's love language needs. Keeping in mind where they each are in their lives. Stretching from releasing one from the nest to understanding one who is living a life apart from us to staying engaged with one who is forming her plans and ideas about her future. There is no way to maintain those kinds of emotions without the One who holds me together.
As I prayed for my girls this morning, I was reminded that I am to live each day in a posture of waiting and trusting. Their future is not mine to determine. Their decisions are not mine to carry. They each are fearfully and wonderfully made. I can love them most from my knees. With my prayers. And if necessary, and only with His leading, with my words of advice.
I am so proud of each one. So thankful for who they are and what God is doing in each of their lives. So humbled that I get a front row seat to watch His plan unfold. That is the privilege of being a parent. Our hearts may stretch and pull and do somersaults along the way, but the One who created them has a plan. The best gift we can give our children is to love unconditionally, to plant our own feet firmly in Trust, to focus our own eyes on the place where our Help comes from, to wait with expectation for the plan to unfold and to pray without ceasing for our own hearts and for theirs.
I am learning to direct my attention in hopeful anticipation to what He will do. To trust Him with every fiber of my being instead of developing my own theories and plans. Instead of trying to figure it out for myself. He designed me to wait on Him. Each moment of each day. (inspired by Jesus Calling) With Him my heart is whole. With Him my yoke is easy. With Him my children get everything they need.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Isaiah 40:11
You are exactly right. We can only watch what God is doing as they get older. Sometimes it is very painful but our love for them is always there. Our sense of priviledge that God entrusted them to our care for such a brief time remains.
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