It matters...

Why does it matter so much to us what other people think of us? Is it just me?


A few months ago when I first started writing every morning, I received a message from a woman that I have never met. She goes to my church and wanted me to know how the story I wrote about my chair had impacted her. She wrote me a sweet note about how what I had to say spoke to her and a little about what she was going through personally. But there were two sentences in that note that have impacted me greatly the last few months.


The first sentence that caught my attention was this: "You don't know me but I have watched you over the years..." Wow. We don't stop often and remember that people are watching us. It doesn't matter who we are or what we do; there is always someone watching us. If you are a parent then your children are watching. If you are a student then other students and teachers are watching. If you are a in a work place then your co-workers are watching. If you are in any sort of public arena then lots of people are watching.


That one statement stopped me in my tracks. It was a humbling reminder that what I do and what I say matters. Even when I don't think anyone else is noticing. Last weekend the girls and I drove up to the North Georgia mountains. We made several stops and had a great day enjoying the weather and the beauty of a perfect fall day. As you can imagine, in a car full of females there were lots of conversations happening all at once. We were talking about wedding plans and listening to college stories and talking about birthday celebration plans all at the same time. Later in the weekend, one of my daughters made a statement about someone else. I did not like what she said and asked her why she thought that. She proceeded to inform me that what she said was what she heard me and another one of her sisters say!


Well, after a lengthy conversation to straighten out the misunderstanding, I was left wondering how she heard something so different than what I thought was said. It made me think about the note from a few months ago. The other sentence in that note that has made an impact on me was this: "I felt like the despair from my circumstances defined my relationship with God but it is good to see other people verbalize their feelings but not let it define their relationship."


As parents and friends, we need to live each day in such a way that what we believe is evident in what we say and do. And that is so hard to accomplish on a daily basis. Life is hard and we need to be able to express our frustration and our feelings about situations, but we need to be careful that those words do not mislead others. Especially our children. What they hear and receive now is shaping what they will believe as adults. We need to be mindful of our words. Even in our frustration and hurt, we need to choose wisely what we say about others.


I have more than a few friends that are in hard circumstances right now with their marriage or their children. Several of them have commented to me that they want to be so aware how they express their frustration with their spouse or with their child to their other children and the people around them. They do not want to make their children feel like that they have to defend mom or think bad about a family member just because the circumstances are making someone sad. There is such wisdom in that statement.


Hardship, hurt and pain last for a season. At some point, we will move on from those emotions. But the impact of the words and thoughts that we expressed while we were in those seasons will last a lifetime. As hard as it is, we need to be aware that there is always someone watching. It matters what they hear. It matters what they see. It matters how they receive.


But God's Grace and Mercy are so much bigger than our circumstances. In our weakness He is made strong. When we hurt, He knows. We do not have to tell everyone around us. We don't have to get our children or our friends on our side. We already have an Advocate that is interceding on our behalf.


So, today, unpack that baggage of despair and pain and hurt and anger. Place it at the foot of the Cross. Then leave it there. We all have those feelings. We want to feel validated by our hurt. We want to know that someone is on our side. Let Him show you how much He cares. It matters to Him how you feel. Give God those thoughts and words and feelings. Then, share the feeling of freedom that comes from allowing Him to carry our burdens. That is something worth sharing. Those feelings bring hope and thanksgiving. Someone is watching and listening. It will matter when they hear your Praise.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, 

so that they may see your good works 

and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 5:16