Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of work and a lot of prayer and a lot of sacrifice. I may have married my best friend but I was living with a partner for life. Someone who had his own thoughts and his own ways and his own opinions. Yes, we enjoyed the same things. For the most part, we were raised the same way. And as far as we knew, we wanted the same things. Then reality came along.
While we were doing our pre-marital counseling, the pastor asked us how we felt about divorce. Well, that was an interesting question for an engaged couple. He said he didn't want to know if we thought it was right or wrong. He wanted to know if it was an option. That one question was a defining moment in our future married life. He told us to talk about it. So, we did.
For us, we decided before we got married, that it was not an option. We took it off the table. Both of us. We made a conscious decision that as we did life together and worked through the ups and downs, we would be faced with a lot of choices. We would have the choice of how we handled the tough arguments and the bad days and the unforeseen issues that would come along. But that choice was not available. For us, we made a decision that day that changed our perspective for life.
God has blessed us. It has not been easy. People ask me all the time what it takes to have a strong marriage. I tell them it takes two people who are both willing to work hard, pray harder and put the other one first at all cost. It takes a willingness to put someone ahead of ourselves. To find out what God has to say about marriage and then to actually try and follow through. It takes sacrifice. It takes thick skin. It takes commitment. It takes a sense of humor. But most of all, it takes honesty.
As I am watching my daughter prepare for a marriage that will last, I am finding myself thinking a lot about my own marriage. About what advice I can give her and what bit of wisdom might be a defining question for her. The best I can come up with is God's way is best. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. They are better.
Danny and I both grew up in a Christian home. We both grew up going to church, going to youth group and reading our Bible. We knew the lingo and the actions. But, we both were missing the relationship. Mainly, because there was no one around to disciple us. To teach us. To live life on life with us so that we understood what we said we believed.
I am so thankful for the people who God placed in our lives early on to help us both gain a deeper understanding. We got married young and so we naturally spent our time around people in our same stage of life. That usually meant people who were older than us. We needed that discipleship and that life on life example. God was faithful and we knew that we wanted to model discipleship for our children.
I believe that relationship is the key to everything. No amount of study or rules or discipline can replace relationship. It is what we were made for. To be in relationship with God and with each other. The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sin. I am so thankful that my husband loves me. But I am more thankful that he loves Jesus. That relationship is what has made our relationship so strong.
I am celebrating my best friend's birthday this weekend. I still love spending time with him. I still love the things that made me want to marry him. But, today, that love is so much stronger and deeper than I could have ever imagined all those years ago. Jesus is the reason.
Happy Birthday my sweet husband. You have blessed me and your girls beyond measure. Thank you that you love Jesus. Thank you that you love us. Thank you that you made a covenant with me all those years ago. May God richly bless you as you begin another year of your life. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of it!
hope you have a sweet weekend celebrating your sweet man
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