As we gathered together in our back yard, I was once again reminded how important community is. The girls were all dressed up and so excited to see each other. The boys were all dressed up too. Not so excited to take the pictures but equally excited to see each other. We, along with a few others, were the "seasoned" parents. We have done the dance/picture thing a lot! But for most of the parents, this was their first experience. It was so nice for all of us to be together. To talk and share and get to know each other. It reminded those of us that have done this so many times before about the excitement of venturing into unchartered waters of the teenage world.
Most of the dads were there. It was fun to watch them take it all in. For most of them, it was the first time they had watched their daughters get all dressed up and for some, have a boy at their side. Danny has watched his daughter's do this countless numbers of times. He has learned over the years how it all works. But, those lessons, came with a few tears.
The very first dance our oldest went to was her 9th grade homecoming. She was so excited. She went with a friend to have her hair done. Danny and I went together to pick her up. She came out to the car and looked expectantly at her daddy to see what his reaction was going to be. Well, she looked beautiful, but very different from the little girl that we were used to. Her daddy's response was something about how she looked good but that he liked the way she always wore her hair.
Tears flowed immediately. She was crushed. He was confused. I was caught between which one to respond to first. We worked through the issue and convinced her that she looked great and that her hair was perfect for the dress she was wearing. She ended up having a great time.
But the part I remember most about that whole ordeal was that Danny chose to learn from it. He honestly did not know why she reacted the was she did. But instead of getting angry or just letting me deal with all of it, he chose to learn. He listened as I explained what was important to a girl and why. He talked with his daughters and got to know what they thought and why. He made a conscious effort that day to be an active part of his girls lives. All of their lives; not just the part he understood.
There have been more tears over the years, but the lesson of that day has made a lasting impact on my daughter's lives. They have a father that loves them. Everything about them. Even what their hair looks like for a dance. He has given up countless fishing trips and hunting trips to be there for them. He waits patiently for them to get ready and then beams when they come down the stairs. They are his princesses and they know it. He loves them unconditionally and they know it.
As I watched him stand in our driveway with all of the other dads on Homecoming, I was reminded of how God works. Danny was able to encourage those dads as they were trying to figure out what the girl world is all about. He was telling them stories about some of the memorable moments of raising daughters. Here was this "manly" man talking about the girl things that comprise a large part of his life. He was able to tell the stories because he was a part of them. He was there.
I was blessed to have a father who loved me that way too. He helped me to form a positive picture of who my Heavenly Father was. Danny is doing the same thing for his girls. They will pick boys with the same qualities that they see in their dad. We have already begun to see that truth played out in their lives. As I looked over the pictures this morning, I wrote down a lot of the stories and the memories of the past 8+ years of dances and events. It is so fun to remember. It is so fun to look forward to the new stories and memories with our youngest.
Danny and I have learned so much parenting all girls. We decided a long time ago to do this parent thing with our whole hearts and to do it together. I am humbled by the fact that this man that is such a man's man is willing to learn and to listen and to love in such a manner that is making an eternal difference in the lives of his daughters.
Stay tuned this week... I might tell a few of the stories that taught us so much over the years. Let me know if you would like to hear them!
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