When Ansley was around 4 years old, she already thought that she was invincible. She was fearless. So, of course she was convinced that she could ride her sister's new big girl bike even though she had never been on a bike without training wheels. We turned our back for one second and before we knew it she was on the bike and heading down the driveway. No helmet. No experience. No fear.
Well you can guess the outcome. She actually made it to the cul-de-sac and looked back to see if we were going to notice. Then, down she went. Face first. Across the pavement. There was blood everywhere. She was screaming. I was screaming. She was crying. I was crying. Then Danny, the ever calm one, scooped her up and took her inside. I had the keys in my hand ready to go the emergency room and fix all the broken bones and get the stitches for the gashes and the x-ray for the concussion and the medicine for all the pain she was going to suffer! He had her in the bathtub washing off the blood and gravel to see what actually had happened.
There were no deep cuts. No broken bones. No signs of head trauma. Only scrapes and bruises. As soon as Dad patched her up and removed crazy mom from the room, she calmed down and was fine. She reacted to my frenzy but she responded to his calmness.
I think we handle most of life this way. We either react or we respond. Our children watch us to see which one we will choose. I think as believers other people around us watch us to see which one we will choose. I have learned the hard way over the years that choosing to respond and not react is not easy.
I think we react out of what we are feeling. That "knee-jerk" reaction. I think a lot of times we react out of fear and out of what we see happening around us. It doesn't take much thought process to react. It is immediate and quick. I even think that most of the time our reactions are based on how we feel the situation is affecting us. It comes from an inward focus.
When we respond to something it usually requires us to think. It is a little slower; takes a little more time. A response usually is outward focused. We have to look at the situation or the person. Even if we respond out of what we are feeling, when we have to stop and think it puts things into better perspective.
As I watched all the documentaries on 9-11, I was once again humbled by the selfless acts of the first responders. One reporter talked about how most of them just did what came natural to them. They reacted to the chaos around them. I am not sure I agree with that statement. Those men and women were trained to respond not to react. They did what they had spent a lot of time learning. They knew what needed to be done and they went to work despite what they were feeling.
As parents, we need to learn to respond to our children and not to react to their behavior. Our words matter and they shape their lives and the adults they will become. They learn from us how they will respond to a friend or a situation. They also learn how they will respond in an emergency or in the hard times of life. We make the choice everyday to react or to respond to every situation and every person we come in contact with.
Jesus never reacted. The disciples reacted all the time. Read the gospels with that in mind. Thank goodness Jesus picked ordinary people who had so much to learn. Makes me feel better as I continue to learn how to respond with love and kindness and self control. It is a daily pursuit. I am learning how to keep from reacting out of fear and instead, respond out of obedience.
Today is going to be a busy day. As I am typing this blog, I have gotten 3 text messages and 2 phone messages. All three of my girls need me to answer them about a pressing matter. My stress level is rising and my house is far from "ready" for my bible study tonight. There are things to do, decisions to make, people to talk to and deadlines to meet. I need to decide how I am going to respond to all of it!
Thoughtless words cut like a sword.
But the tongue of wise people brings healing.
proverbs 12:18
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