As I switch to wedding mode on the days when I can, I find myself thinking a lot about my girls and their futures. When they were little I remember them dressing up like a bride. I think most little girls began to dream of their wedding very early. In some form or another. Today, as I was remembering them all dressed up for their pretend weddings; I was trying to remember when we began to talk about the real thing.
I have always had a very open and honest relationship with my girls. They know that our home is a safe place to talk about anything they want to. We try really hard to keep the "no, I am not appalled that you just said that" look on our faces. But as they got older the thought of "how in the world do you even know that" was harder to cover up! Our kitchen table has heard a lot of conversations over the years. Poor Dad. He has heard a lot over the years too. More than he probably wanted to know; but he hangs in there with us. God bless him.
I am not sure when the topic of marriage replaced the idea of a wedding. It was just a natural progression as we waded through the tricky waters of boys and relationships and dating. You really cannot do justice to those topics without bringing marriage into the discussion at some point. Of course, it depends on what your goal is. For our family, we believe that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. If our girls find a man they want to spend the rest of their life with, then marriage is the end result.
As we have discovered what each one of our girls bent is and what their thoughts are on the opposite sex, we have encouraged them to think about what they are looking for in a future husband. Danny started praying for their future spouse from the time he put them into their cribs at night. We aren't obsessive with marriage talk; we just have given them something to think about over the years. We offer advice and show them scripture and give them a plumb line to measure their choices against. When poor choices have been made, we have something concrete to base our opinions on. God has a plan for their future; but our girls have a choice.
When the Royal Wedding came on TV, my girls set the alarm, got up and planted themselves in the den floor to watch. There were moms and college girls throwing parties to celebrate the big event. It was a modern day fairy tale and the world got to watch. The girl was actually getting her prince.
As they went off to school and the pictures were plastered all over for hours that morning, I wrote the following note to each of my girls:
"You are already a princess. You are each a daughter of the King. Pick a boy who loves the King too. The fairy tale is possible. He has a plan for each of you! ~ love, Mom."
The world throws so much at our children. They are given false information and sometimes even down right lies about what will make them happy. But, we as parents, have a voice too. It is louder and more effective than we think. Today, the Lord has encouraged me to keep the plumb line of open, honest communication and His truth before my children. He has a plan and they have a choice. The information, opinions and prayers we offer them shapes their perspective of the future. And what they think will determine the choices they make.
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